Groaning But Keep Going

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling,  because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Photo by Nathan Cowley on

This passage from 2nd Corinthians 5:1-5 came to mind yesterday after Craig of Poetic Perspectives at replied to me asking how he was in my comment section, “I am about the same physically, but have lately felt more blessed and closer to the Lord, spiritually, which is the most important thing. He is ever faithful and loving toward His own and we truly cannot even begin to comprehend the extent to which this is true! Thanks for asking!” Craig lives with chronic illness as do I.

Yesterday I groaned a lot. I missed the bus that would have taken me the mile and half distance from the school where I teach to my coffee shop. Problem is the bus system here is terrible. The bus comes only one time each hour. So instead of waiting for one hour, I walked to the coffee shop. As I walked, my left foot and ankle reminded me that psoriatic arthritis has struck there. My right knee spoke up too not wanting to be left out. By the time I made it to the coffee shop, it felt like I had finished a marathon.

Photo by Engin Akyurt on

Living with autoimmune issues like psoriatic arthritis and also with fibromyalgia means I feel like groaning all the time. I am looking forward to the day I am in heaven with no more pain. But to be here in this life, even living with chronic pain, means opportunities to share Jesus and his gospel with people from diverse cultures.

One of the first things I will do after I get a different vehicle, thanks to people being generous to donate, will be to join a club again that has an aqua track, It is a walking track of warm water, It is great for people with arthritis.

I will be more mobile again, so visiting refugees/immigrants will be part of my routine again too which is the best part for me. 🙂

So here is to more ministry even though I am groaning.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Doctors and Doctors and Doctors- Oh My

In the movie Wizard of Oz, Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tinman walk down the yellow brick road through a forest area repeatedly saying, “lions and tigers and bears oh my.” I understand the feeling but it my case it is doctors and doctors and doctors oh my.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on

This month I have my annual check up, an endoscope, an appointment with another doctor and maybe an MRI. I was hoping my Rheumatologist forgot about the MRI since I saw him in May and no word, but that was wishful thinking because his nurse contacted me about it. lol

But perhaps after my next Rheumatologist appointment in August,, I won’t see a doctor again until December. That would be perfectly a okay with me. 🙂

One thing I always find a bit amusing is when they want to help me get up from the laying down part of the exam. The thought that goes through my mind is, “I have traveled by myself in Romania and Brazil, I think I can handle this.”

This morning I will go have blood drawn. By the way, I was born to be an optimist because my blood type is B positive. 🙂

Such is the life of a person with chronic illness.

By the way, the good news is that I found a channel on YouTube of people telling each other dad jokes. It is like finding a gold mine. 🙂

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Thoughts About Doctor Visits

It was time for another appointment at the Orthopedic Surgeon yesterday. Only a knee injection, the first of three, and I had a question. I asked if I got anything similar to frequent flyer miles. Sadly the answer was no, but a good idea I think.

So we are off to the races with doctor appointments, two more knee injections and then in a few weeks Rheumatology where I get to show my latest psoriasis flare up. The fun never ends. Time goes so fast when your having fun.

Back to the frequent flyer thing. I think for those of us who live with chronic illness, we should get something similar. Perhaps akin to BOGO, buy one get one free. Have one doctor appointment get one free.

When I posted the above picture on Instagram, my sis in law commented, “not fun.” My reply was, “true but I use a little humor.”

How is your week going?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Doctors and More Doctors

I think I will hit my insurance deductible by February. Here we go again. Well might as well get it out of the way. 🙂

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

I started Physical Therapy yesterday. They hooked me up to some electric nerve stimulator machine. I had images of Frankenstein in my mind. I will have six more appointments.

In a few weeks, it will be back to the Orthopedic Surgeon for an MRI and a different electric nerve test. That one will involve a small needle. I may end up with an electric personality. 🙂

In February it is back to the Rheumatologist for a follow up appointment. I don’t think anything new will come out of it other than continue current treatment but one never knows.

After all of that I will have met my deductible, so future appointments will be paid 90%. Hey time to go for it with doctors off to the races.

One big downside to these appointments is they have to be in the afternoons due to my schedule. That means no naps until Friday. I got hooked on daily afternoon naps last semester. Hopefully I can make it. 🙂

Such is the life of a spoonie, person with chronic illness, go to doctors who send you to other doctors and they all want to do tests. They all seem to want to move the parts that you tell them hurt. For example, at Physical Therapy, he kept wanting to move my shoulder every which way.

One day Jesus will either return or he will take me home to heaven. Then I won’t need doctors anymore. For now, Jesus has work for me to do here in this life.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Almost Done with Doctors for the Year

My early Christmas gift was seeing the dermatologist and finding out my scalp psoriasis was clear yesterday. So I asked her if that meant I could stop injections, but she said no. Well 1 out of 2 isn’t bad. Something about it was prescribed by the rheumatologist for arthritis, so I need to keep doing them.

Next week will be my last doctor appointment for 2021 when I see the orthopedic surgeon again. Then it is clear sailing until next year. 🙂

This year was relatively uneventful on the doctor front. I only saw the rheumatologist twice, the dermatologist three times, and the orthopedic surgeon three times. Oh and the GP I saw three times.

With all of that going on, I have not missed a day of work, so my sick pay is accumulating. I am thankful the Lord gives me strength each day.

So as the year is fast coming to an end, it has not been the worst year for this person with chronic illness. It has not been the best either. But thanks to Jesus, I have stayed in the game.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

A Sleepy Weekend

Friday was cold and cloudy and add to that I was in the middle of a pain flare up, Friday evening was spent mostly laying down watching movies. Well sort of watching movies. I slept about 14 hours Friday evening/Friday night. Saturday afternoon it was time for a power nap. Just woke up this Sunday morning after sleeping 9 hours. Now I am ready to go to church, have burgers with a friend and perhaps go to a coffee shop. Jesus blessed me with feeling well enough to go to church. 🙂

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on

Such is life with chronic illness one never knows when a flare up will hit. Fortunately, I did not have big plans for the weekend. I did manage to meet with one student Saturday morning, but other than that my bed was a good companion.

I probably would not have crashed and burned so much if I did not power through a few days in the midst of the flare up. Dummy me. I have sick pay but don’t use it to take a day off. lol

So let me live vicariously through you. What did you do this weekend?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Grateful I Didn’t Kick The Doctor Yesterday

I receive injections in my knee trying to delay knee replacement. I will never forget the first time I had one. It was with my GP. When he started the injection, I had a reflex and would have kicked him, but he was holding my leg, so I didn’t.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

Each time I get an injection, I wonder if I will kick the doctor unintentionally. Yesterday I went to the orthopedic surgeon for an injection and thankfully I didn’t kick him. I think it helped that he has me lay down whereas my GP does it while I am sitting.

It is the minor victories like that help me keep a sense of humor about doctors. 🙂

I don’t see a doctor again until February when I go back to the rheumatologist. Well, except for the eye doctor but they don’t poke with needles, draw blood, or any other things that make doctors visits a bit unpleasant.

My previous four injections his Physicians Assistant did for me, but yesterday the surgeon did it. He also checked my knee and spoke doctorese into some dictation thingamajig. I thought about asking what it all meant, but a meme I saw explains it well. The message was:

When I was a child my parents dragged me to the doctor. Now I avoid the doctor and hope I don’t die.

So I am keeping some intentional ignorance of his doctorese. Why? Because I figure if it was really bad, he would have told me I need tests. He only gave me the injection. So off I went to return home. 🙂

Moments like that and all of the moments of living with chronic illness make me selfishly long for the return of Jesus, so I can have a new body. 🙂

But then what about all of those who need to come to know him first. That thought along snaps me back to the right mindset.

Do you like doctors? Which is worse, the doctor or the dentist?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Invisible Illness Awareness Week

This week is invisible illness awareness week. Invisible illness covers a lot of illnesses that others may not see a person have. They include lupus, psoriatic arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, POTS, chronic fatigue syndrome, and many more.

The cartoon expresses the frustration people living with chronic illness feel when people say things like, ‘you don’t look sick’ ‘maybe you need to try yoga’ ‘do you take vitamins’ etc.

What people living with chronic illness wish friends would say are:

“Can I help you with anything?”

“I understand you can’t make it at times, but I like inviting you”

“Can I give you a ride to the doctor?”

“How about we chill out at your place and watch movies”

I am grateful that most of the time my chronic illnesses do not prevent me from doing what I want to do, but it has caused me to modify the things I do. For example, I used to love bicycling, but can’t anymore. I can, however, walk in an aqua track.

A special shoutout to my readers who live with chronic illness.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Wellness Wednesday- Almost Missed A Blessed Sunday

Missing out on moments in life is a part of living with chronic illness. Spoonies, people with chronic illness, always want to be invited, but also know a flare up could hit at any moment or simply just have zero energy to do anything.

My weekly routine now is take my once a week medication on Thursday, relax on Friday and do a half day on Saturday, By doing only a half day on Saturday, I am okay for Sunday morning and church. But last Saturday I had a funeral in the afternoon and it was important for me to be there. That meant a full day on Saturday.

Photo by Pixabay on

The result? I woke up Sunday with no energy and almost canceled my Sunday morning group and stayed home from church. But then I prayed and did my self talk of , “Man up and go”, and got ready. I was drained but went.

Am I ever glad I did.!!! An American friend from church joined and helped with my Sunday class for the first which was spontaneous. The students were delighted. During worship after class, a young Hispanic woman sat next to me. We talked after worship and realized we knew each other from when I visited a Hispanic church when she was a teen. We talked about ways she can help with ministry. Then as I was walking in the church, a woman and two teens were talking. I know the woman and her husband speak Spanish, so I greeted her in Spanish. The two teens said, “we need a Spanish group in church.” That is something I have wanted to do for a LONG time.

After church I came home and enjoyed a three hour power nap full of gratitude for how the Lord worked Sunday morning.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Music Mondays- Same God by Hannah Kerr

God who created all we see is the same God who loves us and is always with us. There is never a moment God is not with us.

He is with us the middle of everything we go through, I have experience his presenced on days when chronic illness flares. I feel his presence by the songs in my spirit.

I have experienced that in down times through the little and big ways he lets me know he is with me.

Whatever you are going through, the same God who created everything you see, the stars at night, the trees, the birds,, is the same God who sees you, knows you. knows your struggles and loves you.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.