Dealing with Anxiety-What God Teaches Us To Focus On

Yesterday evening while having dinner with friends. one of my friends observed, :”that must have been scary last week when you were in the ER.” My response might surprise some. My response was, “yes it was but that is in the past now. It is not happening now.”

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Staying present in the moment is not a new concept. Jesus spoke about it over two thousand years ago when he said in Matthew 6:34:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Jesus was teaching to focus on today, on the present here and now. Yes we make plans, but we do not live in tomorrow nor do we live in yesterday.

Paul touched on not living in yesterday when he wrote in Philippians 3:13:

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead

Don’t get me wrong. I struggle as much as anyone with the practice of beating myself up about the past and anxiety about something coming in the future like having to go to the doctor. My response to my friend’s insight surprised me as well. But that fear that was gripping me last Wednesday is not with me anymore. The problem that brought to the ER is not a problem for me today. It is in the past and it can stay there, 🙂

But what would God want us to remember from the past?

1 Chronicles 16:12 says:


Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,

Remember the things God has done for us. This helps us when we face current difficulties. It helps us to remember how God came through for us.

We leave the negative stuff behind, remember God working in our lives, focus on today, and have hope for tomorrow knowing that Jesus is always with us.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

September Is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

My young friend Ty’s grandmother texted me yesterday to let me know he showed up at school yesterday and came home after school. It was a sigh of relief for me. He has a lot to deal with in life and has been seeing a therapist since his parents died when he was in Kindergarten.

I have taken mental health issues for teens and for everyone seriously for quite sometime. That increased in September 2011 when a young woman from Vietnam, who had been part of my weekend group, completed suicide. I will never forget how deeply it affected her family and the other young people who were part of my group at the time. The following weeks, I spent a lot of time checking on them. That experience prompted me to go through suicide prevention training, which has been put to use twice.

Darkness seeks to envelope people with feelings of hopelessness and despair, Darkness whispers thoughts of suicide into the thoughts of people who are struggling. But Jesus brings hope and life. Jesus said in John 10:10


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Jesus wants to help all people to have life to the full. He brings healing for our minds, souls, and spirits. We can cry out to Jesus in our darkest moments. We can also ask for help. It is okay to ask for help.

In the USA, it is a simple number to call or text for help- 988.

In Canada- If you’re in crisis — Call 1-866-585-0445 or text WELLNESS to: 686868 for youth; 741741 for adults

In the UK- 116 123 – 24 hours a day or text SHOUT to 85258

In Australia- 13 11 14

I would like to share two videos that speak to this. One says to stay another day. The other reminds us that our story isn’t over yet. Remember with Jesus we can always have a new start to our story.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Remember Step by Step

One thing I encourage people who feel overwhelmed to remember is step by step. When we experience difficulty, it can seem like the whole thing hits us in the face all at once making it feel overwhelming. Especially those of us who might struggle with depression and anxiety. By breaking down what can seem too big into smaller steps, it breaks it down for us. Yes, I practice what I preach. 🙂

Another aspect that helps with that negative self talk is to remind ourselves each day, maybe more than once during the day, of the steps we have taken. Negative self talk can lead to self defeating behavior. By reminding ourselves of positive steps taken, it helps us avert negative self talk.

One important step is to remember to ask God about it. I love the truth Jesus shared in Matthew 6:8-“Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” God knows what we need each step of the way.

I also include asking others to pray for me and asking others who know more than I do. Case in point when my van died.

Setting up my Go Fund Me was an idea I had and one others encouraged me to do. One thing I readily admit to is that I have no mechanical ability. So when it comes time to look at vehicles, I have friends I can ask to come with me. They know what to look at. Involving others in the process who know more is always a good idea.

Thanking God for each step taken is part of step by step. God does not need that from us, but we need it. It helps us stay connected with God through the process.

The books I am writing are something I have included in my own step by step. Yes, I am the one writing, but I have asked others to read the google doc and share their response. I met with a friend of mine who understands finances to ask him to review what is involved for the business part of it with Amazon to self publish. I hope to have them published in September. The delay has been due to God giving me ideas of sections to add.

When we are faced with adversity, let’s remember-step by step.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Music Mondays- Faithful by Sarah Reeves

Even when I cannot see, You are moving
Even when I cannot hear, You are singing over me
Even when I can’t hold on, You won’t let me go
You are faithful, You are faithful

I love the lyrics to Faithful by Sarah Reeves. So many times in my life I thought I could not hold on, but Jesus never lets go of us. He is always with us. He will never leave us.

Singing over me? Where do we get that from? In Zephaniah 3 we read:

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing”

Jesus rejoices over us with singing. Have you ever seen a mother sing over her child? God is our father who sings over us. That is how precious we are to God.

When we can’t see the way out of a situation, a problem, a trial, God is at work. He knows the outcome because he is there and with us now at the same time. I experienced that recently. Last summer was dismal for me and put me behind financially, but God was at work. First my dear Vietnamese friends helped their old teacher. Then three weeks ago I received an extra missionary support check. Last week I received anonymous letters with money. Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

God is faithful. He is faithful even when we are not. Whatever we face in life, he is with us.

Struggle with depression/anxiety? Jesus is there for you.

Struggle with chronic illness? Jesus is there for you/

Financial problems? Jesus is there for you.

Uncertain about the future? Jesus knows your future and is already there. He is there for you now and in your future at the same time.

In the worst moment we can think of which is death, Jesus will be there for us waiting to welcome us into heaven if we have accepted him as our Savior.

He is faithful!!

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Story Time/Burned Eggs In Brazil

June and July of 2015 were my best summer ever. I spent most of those months in Rio do Sul a small city in Santa Cantarina Brazil teaching English in a university.

For most of my time there, I stayed solo in the apartment of some missionary friends who were traveling elsewhere in Brazil. I took care of my breakfast and the university took care of my lunch and dinner. Most mornings I ate fresh fruit with yogurt, but one morning I decided I wanted some eggs.

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I started cooking the eggs and then checked my Facebook. I had a message from a friend who was applying to Medical School. She wanted me to look over her essay for the application. There was only one small grammar mistake. Her essay was excellent. The process took about 45 minutes. When we finished, I remembered something- THE EGGS.

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The pan I was cooking in was a non-stick pan with a white coating inside. But if you burn eggs for 45 minutes, the non-stick part doesn’t work so well. I soaked the pan several times and scrubbed it. I went to a few stores to try to find another pan.just like it to no avail. Finally, after scrubbing it several times, I got it cleaned.

When I talked with the missionaries about my adventure with the pan, the wife told me she bought it at a garage sale in the U.S. for a few dollars. We had a good laugh.

We needlessly worry at times. Sometimes it is because we try to do things on our own not knowing fully what to do. Sometimes it is because we do not want to look bad or be a failure. There can be many reasons we worry.

Worry is different than having an anxiety disorder. I want to make that clear. People who have anxiety disorders have anxiety because of a physiological cause. It is important to seek help.

Worry is really trying to keep control over something fearing possible outcomes. We worry needlessly many times. Jesus talked about worry in Matthew 6:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

We are more valuable to God than anything else in all of creation. If we worry, we are basically not trusting in God’s love for us, his ability, or his desire to help us.

God loves us so much that Jesus came to die for us, so we can have eternal life. As the bible says in 1 John 4:

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”

Love is what can drive our fear and calm our worry. If we struggle with worry, what we need is to spend time in the presence of Jesus basking in his love for us.

Think about it. Jesus already knows all of our mistakes, sins, failures, problems, and loves us. He invites us to come to him. We don’t need to hide anything from him and we can’t anyway. He knows it all, loves us, and invites us to come to him for help.

Now I wonder who wants me to come cook for them after they read my story time today? Vote in the comments from these candidates 🙂

Dawn of drawingclosertochrist.com

Jenny of progressinbloom.com

deandra of Imago Dei at deandrahurst.com

Sherita of plantingseedsingodsgrowinggarden.wordpress.com

Rene of hearttokens.home.blog

Herry of herrychiccounsels.com

Beverly of becomingtheoilandthewine.com

Thank you for reading. God Bless

When God Gives Confirmation

A little over a year go, I began to share in my blog about living with depression and anxiety which for me were symptoms of living with chronic illness. It felt a bit risky at the time, but I found that many people responded to my posts whether through comments, likes etc.

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Yesterday a woman I respect a great deal for her work with children who have been traumatized, responded to me sharing a few posts on her Facebook Wall. She had given me permission. I let her know that I share from a Christian perspective. She responded that we should seek to bring Christ into mental health issues. After I posted a few links on her Facebook wall:

Jesus Understands Trauma

World Mental Health Day-October 10

She responded with this message:

“Matt, Thank you for sharing these blogs. I pray others read it as you candidly shared your personal experience in a very relatable way. We are all searching to be heard & understood. Especially searching for our deepest desire: Jesus. Some might not believe or understand His healing power & gift of Salvation is waiting for them in the most deepest hurts, mental health, medical problems & any sin. He indeed experienced trauma. Stories like yours lead people to the Lord because you spoke biblical truth & love in despite how hurtful your trauma was you looked Him & found healing & peace.”

To receive such a message from a woman who is a Christian and also a Licensed Mental Health Counselor meant a lot to me. I felt it gave me confirmation to continue to share.

My desire is to share with others the comfort Jesus has given me whether it is regarding depression/anxiety or about living with chronic illness. I always think about the truth of 2 Corinthians 1:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Her message was confirmation for me to continue to share about how God has helped and is helping me to press on with my ministry and life living with chronic illness and also with depression/anxiety. After my day Friday with friends, and also with the extra support from my home church, seeing my colleagues message Saturday, I feel God is telling me to continue.

On another note, a few of my followers on this blog recently went to my short stories blog- Encounters with the Ancients. I am thinking about making one of my short stories into a book. I would like HONEST feedback from my followers on this blog. I would like to ask you to read a story I wrote a year and a half ago- Jessica’s Encounter at the Harbor Coffee Shop.. What I want HONEST feedback about is if a book version would be of interest.

Thank you for reading. God bless.

Music Mondays- Till I Met You by Laura Story

Yesterday the pastor of my church taught about what it means that God is love as it says in 1 John 4. It was a wonderful message. The message basically was:

God is love means that love is part of God’s core being. He doesn’t love because of what we do, who we are, or anything else. He loves because it is part of who he is.

When we come to God, our motives are not pure. We do not bring anything to the table that God needs. God does not need anything from us, but he loves us because it is part of who he is.

We bring to God our failures, our sins, our struggles, our depression, our anxiety, our illness, our doubts. our mess. God loves us. Not because of what we do or who we are. He loves us because he loves us.

I love this video by Laura Story. The lyrics of the song so beautifully express the truth of how God loves us even though we are a mess. I hope the song blesses you as you start your week. 🙂

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

World Mental Health Day- October 10

Today is World Mental Health Day.

Living with chronic illness has also meant dealing with symptoms I did not know would accompany two of my chronic illnesses, depression and anxiety.

I will never forget the day that I finally started taking the prescription my doctor had given me for them. It has since changed for one that also addresses nerve pain associated with Fibromyalgia. I did not want to start medication. I was not even sure if it was the right thing for me to do. There is still stigma in some churches when it comes to Mental Health issues.

God spoke to me through watching a movie. The movie was Brain On Fire. It is based on the true story of a woman with a rare autoimmune disorder that affects the brain. She was about to be sent off to a permanent stay at a psychiatric hospital when a psychiatrist tested her for the autoimmune problem. She was placed on a medication for the problem and it cleared up her problems.

After watching the movie, I realized that autoimmune problems can affect our whole body including the brain. I researched it as well. So I went ahead and started the medication the doctor prescribed. Within a week, I felt much better.

I will also never forget the response of the pastor for missions and outreach had when I offered to resign my ministry as a home missionary if taking medication would be a controversy. I have always been aware of the stigma in some churches when it comes to Mental Health issues like depression. His response was, “Matt it is medical. You don’t need to resign.”

Jesus said in Matthew 11:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Jesus wants us to come to him with everything. If we struggle with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, OCD, or any other mental health issue, his invitation is to come to him. 🙂

I wanted to share a bit of my story in case it helps someone. Also in honor of World Mental Heath Day I want to share a few videos.

First a Spoken Word Poem video by Racheal Stevens- Your Story Isn’t Over Yet.

And a music video by Jenn Johnson- You’re Gonna Be Okay.

Story Time- A Tiny X-Ray Tech Had to Catch Me

This is a picture of me when I was about 20 years old. I weighed about 200 pounds due to working out with weights a lot.

One day I started feeling sick and had a fever. It wasn’t the normal flu type sick, so I ended up going to the ER. The ER doctor called a surgeon who ordered x-rays of my stomach. A nurse came in with a wheelchair. She was about 5′ 2″ and weighed maybe 110 pounds. Being the young prideful man I was, I didn’t want a petite woman pushing me in a wheelchair. I told her I could walk.

I had to lay down, stand up, lay down and stand up for the x-rays. The last time I stood up, I began to faint. The poor x-ray tech who was also a petite woman had to try to catch me and guide me to the wheelchair.

When the nurse came back. I swallowed my pride and agreed to be pushed back to the ER room in the wheelchair. I ended up having my appendix out that night.

I am grateful that Jesus has all power. God created the universe. Nothing is impossible for God. Jesus is more than able to catch us when we falter. I often think about what Jesus said in Matthew 11:

“All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus has all power but he is gentle of heart. He invites us to come to him. If we struggle with depression, anxiety, chronic illness, addiction, family problems, or financial problems, he invites us to come to him. His invitation is for ALL. No one is excluded from his invitation.

The only thing preventing us from coming to Jesus is our own pride just like my pride got in the way in the ER that night.

Thank you for reading. God Bless. 🙂

Journey Together While Blogging-Spotlight on a New Blogger

This week it dawned on me. It is unusual for me, so it sneaked up on me. I am healthy this week.

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I had the worst Fibromyalgia flare up I ever had the first week of September and then I had bronchitis for four weeks. This week I am breathing normally, well for someone with asthma, and my pain level is low only maybe a 3 out of 10. For me that is a healthy week. Healthy is kind of relative term when living with chronic illness. Nonetheless, I am calling this a HEALTHY week for me. 🙂

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I wrote a post in August about how looking to Jesus helps me while living with chronic illness. It was-Jesus Understands Pain. Mornings are so important for me. Some mornings my prayer and worship time is deep and meaningful Some mornings it is a time to barely manage a prayer of please help me through this day while I listen to worship music. Either way, Jesus sustains me and gives me strength.

A new blogger I follow is Bro Craig. He recently wrote a post that I think captures the experience of someone living with chronic illness. His post was In Between My Fears. It is an excellent post to read.

I appreciate other bloggers who are willing to share struggles with health or with depression/anxiety. I remember when I first started to share about my struggles with both. I wasn’t certain about the response. But I felt as someone who has been a Christian for many years and as a person in ministry, if I would be willing to share about living with chronic illness and the depression/anxiety that are symptoms of 2 of the chronic illnesses I have that perhaps it would help others. My hope is also to be a small part of lessening the stigma.

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One thought I have about this blogging community is that for those of us who blog, in a way we are walking with each other to home. In this life we are strangers in a foreign land looking forward to our eternal home in heaven as Hebrews 11 says:

“Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”

But our journey in this life is a marathon not a sprint. We can journey together as fellow Christians who blog. Writing a blog is something I can do even on my down days with chronic illness. I appreciate my fellow bloggers and look forward to seeing more of your posts.

It is my privilege to share about new bloggers. Please check our Bro Craig’s blog.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.