Category: humor

Story Time- I Forgot My Gum Last Night

~ jesusluvsall ~ 10 Comments

Last night I had the urge to stop at a restaurant I like in the downtown of my city to get some food to go. The restaurant is Ali Babas. I had a craving for a gyro plate which comes with steak fries, gyro meat, and is topped with onions, a sauce, tomatoes, and cheese crumbles. It was so satisfying.

Photo by Matheus Brazza on Pexels.com

There was a slight problem. As you can imagine, the onions and sauce might have done a number on my breath. I didn’t think about or worry about that when I got the food. My college is also downtown only a few blocks from Ali Babas. When I got to the college, I went to the adjunct office and sat down to savor my delicious food still no concern at all about what the onions and sauce did.

It wasn’t until I reached into my laptop bag that I realized my dilemma. I forgot to bring my gum and had no time to go buy some. Why is that an issue? I am glad you asked.

We have to wear masks in the college, so as I taught for three hours, I was wearing my mask with yes, the onion and sauce still on my breath. I think that is enough said.

Did you know that fortunately for us there is actually something that God will not remember? Isaiah 43:25 says


“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”

If we come to Jesus, God forgives us and will not remember our sins against us. What a wonderful gift from God.

By the way, I put a few packs of gum in my laptop bag.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Story Time- Why I never Watched The Movie Cats

~ jesusluvsall ~ 7 Comments

That Broadway musical Cats that was made into a movie is one I never watched and don’t intend to watch. It is the same reason I never watched the Garfield cartoon. I feel it is a very valid reason. What is the reason you ask? Good Question.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

As it just so happens, I am allergic to cats. If I watch the movie Cats or Garfield cartoons, I am sure my allergies will flare up. Allergies are quite an unpleasant thing. Now if there was a movie Dogs, count me in because I am not allergic to dogs.

I also have allergies to tree pollen but they are short lived only affecting me in the spring, so watching Lord of the Rings- The Two Towers was no problem even with the Ents- talking trees basically- because the movie was so awesome maybe it drove out my tree pollen allergies. 🙂

Allergies, animals that don’t get alone like dogs and cats, and more are part of the curse on nature after the fall. Yes my post is an attempt at humor, but seriously all of creation longs for Jesus to return.

Romans 8

For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.

The question is do we groan, long for, the return of Jesus?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

How Often Should One Wash A Coffee Mug?

~ jesusluvsall ~ 41 Comments

A question that perhaps one of the great debates of our time is- How often should a person wash a coffee mug? The moms in my morning Family Literacy class seem to have a different opinion about this than I do. 🙂

The moms in my class seem to be of the misguided opinion that I should wash out my coffee mug every day, but I tend to disqualify their thoughts because they put sugar and cream in the coffee or drink fancy drinks that do not qualify as coffee like pumpkin spice.

My thought, and perhaps the only correct view, is that one does not need to wash out a coffee mug. I drink my coffee black, the only true way to drink coffee, and by not washing out the mug it gives character to a cup of coffee much like aging fine wine.

Which side of the great debate do you align with?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Story Time- The First Time I Grew A Beard

~ jesusluvsall ~ 29 Comments

It’s double story time week for our first week of January. Too much of a good thing? Perhaps but here we go.

The first time I a grew a beard it was actually unplanned. Yes, my great discovery was unintentional. It was the winter of 2017/2018. We had a long cold snap of artic weather, once again my Canadian readers can laugh and shake their heads, and due to the cold weather and it being winter break, I stayed inside and did not go anywhere. I also did not shave for those two weeks. One morning towards the end of those two weeks, I finally went out to check the mail. I realized my face felt warm and putting two and two together with my powers of deduction a little like Sherlock Holmes, I realized it was because I had not shaved. Boom-Discovery.

Adding to this, I went to church the first Sunday after winter break and some women at church told me I looked good with a beard. If men say it, I tend to ignore it because, well being a man, I know most of have us no clue about things like that. Having a face for radio anything that might constitute looking good on me stays, so the beard stayed and has been in different forms.

Might I point out that the disciples and Jesus would have had beards, so it maybe it is a bit more spiritual to have one. 🙂

This is now my fifth winter having a beard that keeps my face warm, which causes me to have sympathy for my women friends. Alas they cannot grow beards for the winter. I wonder if they wish they could?

I tell my students that I dye my beard white to look like a teacher, but they don’t seem to believe me. Isaiah 46:4 says,
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. I think white hairs count with this too. I have certainly seen Jesus rescue me at times. 🙂

So my blogging colleagues, let me know which beard you think is better. By the way no beard is an option. 🙂

Short Beard- taken at a coffee shop and coincidently a painting of a man with a beard in the background.

Medium beard

or Long beard- taken in the coffee area of church

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Story Time-Airports versus Shopping

~ jesusluvsall ~ 8 Comments

There are two smaller stores where I buy most of my food from. One is a neighborhood grocery store. The other is an organic/natural food store that is next to the coffee shop I frequent. What do they have in common? They are small, I know where everything is, and I share jokes with the people who work there. They are also both more expensive than supermarkets, but that brings me to things I don’t like about larger supermarkets.

Photo by Pok Rie on Pexels.com

Large supermarkets are impossible to navigate. I don’t know where things are. They are too complicated. Worst of all they are so crowded. They could cause a person to have anxiety.

So can the same be true to airports? Say it isn’t so. Airports are vastly superior to large supermarkets. Yes, at face value one might think they are similarities such as many people, but that is a superficial comparision.

Photo by MELANIO SALOME JR. PECH on Pexels.com

Airports, especially international airports, represent fun and adventure. When one is in an airport, one is going somewhere on an adventure. Even being in an international airport gives one the adventure of finding the gate and the fun of looking around and seeing people from all over the world. Yes, there are overpriced shops, but they are easily avoided and hey malls are full of overpriced shops too, but one isn’t going anywhere.

With supermarkets or malls, all one is doing is walking around way too much with the only destination being back to one’s car. Where is the fun in that? With airports one also walks around a lot, but one is going to someplace exciting like Brazil or Europe.

Supermarkets are boring. One needs to daydream at times to make it through such as pondering deep things like if a team of elves from Lord of the Rings played a team of Jedis from Star Wars, who would win. In an international airport, there are so many fascinating people from all over the world that walk by that there is no need for daydreaming.

The list of reason airports are superior to supermarkets/malls could go on, but in the interest of brevity, give me my small stores and airports any day not supermarkets/malls.

Airports have one more huge advantage. Whenever I fly to another country it reminds me that one day Jesus will return and those who believe in him will fly away to our eternal home. 🙂

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Coffee Time :)

~ jesusluvsall ~ 32 Comments

It was an epic battle between my bed and the coffee shop. At first it seemed my bed would win out again today forcing me to take a nap. But realizing there were errands to run, helped the coffee shop to emerge victorious.

At the coffee shop I go to, they serve Gluten Free Paninis for lunch. The Panini did not last long enough for a picture but trust me it was delicious. I was also able to spread joy by telling a few of my brilliant jokes. 🙂

Perhaps tomorrow my bed and the coffee shop will compromise allowing me to both take a nap and hang out at the coffee shop. One never knows. We shall wait and see.

How is your day? If you are on break from school or on vacation, how are you spending your days?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Story Time- A Tale of Two Pizzas

~ jesusluvsall ~ 22 Comments

Gluten free frozen pizzas have been a bit of an ongoing saga of frustration over the pizzas not being cooperative and ending up overcooked and at times burned such as I shared a few days ago in- Story Time- A Funny Thing Happened to My Lunch.

Today I gladly share a success story and a new method. The new method was inspired by a comment David of davidsdailydose.org made on the post. “All you need to do is match the length of your TV program to the cooking time, Matt. 1 🍕 pizza = 30 minutes. Problem solved.”

Yesterday I placed a gluten free frozen pizza in the oven. Realizing the show I was watching on Hulu had segments on the bottom of the screen indicating when commercial breaks would occur, I used those as a way to keep track of time. The instructions for the pizza were ten minutes at 375 degrees. Ten minutes is how long the segments are between commercials. The results speak for themselves.

Thus a dilemma that has plagued perhaps the whole world, well at least mine, has been solved. My little sister in Jesus Alicia of forhispurpose.blog might find this useful as well. She has been public about her propensity for the occasional burning of things.

So the new method that I freely share is to use the time indicator at the bottom of the screen while watching a show on a streaming service. The segments are about ten minutes each some a bit longer. No need to thank me. This was a collaborative project between David and myself.

This new method can be adjusted to listening to music such as two of three songs, depending on how long the songs are, can indicate ten minutes. If more time is needed, listen to more songs.

Perhaps this is what Proverbs 15:22 is talking about:


Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

What should we call this new method? The steaming service method? David and Matt’s Collaboration? Any ideas?

Feel free to share this revolutionary new method 🙂

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Story Time- A Funny Thing Happened to My Lunch Today

~ jesusluvsall ~ 18 Comments

My plan was to stay home today, relax, enjoy some movies, take a nap and cook something I bought last night. Knowing I would have today off, I stopped by the store on my way home from class last night and bought a gluten free frozen pizza. Alas the fatal flaw in its design struck again. It did not alert me to the fact that it was burning.

I put aforementioned gluten free frozen pizza in the oven and began to watch the movie The Shack- great movie by the way. After some time went by, I remembered the pizza and discovered it was, well, overcooked to put it nicely. Why it did not tell me it was done, I cannot explain,

So off to the store I must go to buy something else for my lunch. Perhaps something I do not need to cook since there appears to be a problem somewhere but of course it could not be me. 🙂 lol

I am glad God does not forget us like I did the pizza. He remembers every little thing we do for him. Hebrews 6:10 says:

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

Off to brave the wind and buy some food 🙂

Thank you for reading God Bless.

My Final Doctor Appointment for the Year

~ jesusluvsall ~ 15 Comments

The look on the face of someone after being told he needs a cortisone shot in the shoulder. Yesterday I went to the orthopedic surgeon to have my shoulder looked at. He had it x-rayed, did an exam, and concluded we should try a cortisone injection first.

The good news is that I do not see him again for eight weeks. The bad news is that if things things don’t improve he wants to do an MRI. Fun Fun lol

When I walk in, the woman at the reception desk smiles waiting for a joke. Yesterday I told her that at the coffee shop they wanted to give me a coffee mug to use that had a picture of a cat, but I was afraid to use it because I am allergic to cats. 🙂

So that’s a wrap for doctors this year. Well except the eye doctor but no worries about blood tests, x-rays, etc etc at an eye doctor.

I wonder if I should set a limit before next year begins. Example- only 10 doctors’ visits. If I hit 10, then no more. 🙂

I did manage to do all of my Christmas shopping in five minutes. Yes, it was online. No, I won’t need to wrap anything. They will be delivered.

My evening class finished last night. After today, I will have five more days until Christmas Break. Then it will be 13 glorious days of no alarm clocks and nothing to do except drink coffee, blog, and of course spend time with Jesus.

After I finished this post and scheduled it, I found out that we have a day off from school. I logged into the website to check email for the school and saw the notice. We are supposed to have up to 75 mile per hour winds tomorrow and a chance of thunderstorms not snow. I think they wanted to give overworked and stressed out teachers a break. 🙂 So off to a coffee shop later 🙂

How is your midweek?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

ahhh Coffee

~ jesusluvsall ~ 15 Comments

After a few meetings today, I just had to go to my favorite coffee shop for an iced coffee. Just chilling out, get it? Chilling out- iced coffee.

A nice way to unwind after a busy week. Relax at a coffee shop and catch up on blogging. As I sit here, I can eavesdrop, I mean accidentally listen to two people speaking Spanish, so I feel inspired to practice when I go home.

How is your Saturday?