Jesusluvsall's Blog

June was a really tough month for me. Going through issues with autoimmune got me down. It is something I have struggled with at times and some of those times get to me more than others. June was one of those times it got to me more. Not feeling well physically can affect my mood. In prayer I was asking Jesus about going home to heaven but of course his will not mine be done.

Then Saturday morning happened. My Saturday morning reading group normally has people from Haiti, Iraq and Japan, but Saturday morning only one student came. It is that time of year of travel, vacation, and this year the World Cup. When I have those times of having only one student, I pay attention because it usually means it is time for a divine appointment for an opportunity to share Jesus with the person more in depth than is possible with a group. Sharing in a divine appointment is more customized for the person I am sharing with.

I did have an opportunity to share Jesus with my one friend a Yazidi man from Iraq. We talked for over an hour about many different things, but something my friend said made me realize that Saturday was a new twist on having a divine appointment. For the first time, the divine appointment was for me. God spoke to me through my student.

Toward the end of our time together, my friend said, “Teacher you help so many people and mean a lot to people from so many different countries. You help me a lot and you help so many people a lot too.”

When he told me that, I realized I need to push through this time and come through it on the other end. I need to make it through this time, so I can be there for those Jesus has called me to show his love to. My resolve returned in that instant. I had lost my resolve after what felt like my millionth bought with autoimmune.

Some of my autoimmune issues I think of as pesky little flies that cause minor problems at times. Asthma is occasionally a problem but my inhaler takes care of it. Allergies are only a problem in the spring and gone as soon as the trees stop putting out pollen. Hypothyroid was a near fatal  problem before I was diagnosed, but now it is just the continued fatigue.

But there are two that are just plain chronic pains, arthritis and Celiacs. Arthritis means pain is my constant companion. Celiacs means I have flare ups unexpectedly and in June it was having a reaction to a medication that flattened me and took the wind out of my sails. The thing with chronic diseases is that they are always at work to pull us down.

But God is also always at work. I was down but he spoke to me through my student. He gave me the grace of seeing myself in the eyes of my international friends to see what they think of me. It renewed my resolve to press on to the goal of knowing Jesus and the power of his resurrection, so that I can share Jesus with the nations by showing his love to people from all over the world living in my city.

Sunday morning I went to church and communion took on a whole new meaning for me. It was a time of coming to the Lord to be strengthened. His presence was there once again. Focusing on his suffering for me, for us, and thanking him for his sacrifice of for us, confessing my down mood to him, I felt his presence.

As Paul wrote in 2nd Corinthians 4:

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

God has more work for me to do. I may have been wiped out for almost a month, but there is more to do, more people to reach out to, and more opportunities to show the love of Christ.