Jesusluvsall's Blog

Last week was a grind and at times felt more like a gauntlet. It started with needing to go to the ER for several hours because my asthma was problematic. I had a few nights of no sleep. I was on Predisone most of the week and also went to physical therapy three times for my shoulder. When I go through a week like last night, it is easy to get down. When I look at this picture of me from Friday morning, I have to admit, I look tired.

Yesterday morning I met a student at church to help her with English. She came with her little boy who played with his toys while we studied. We had not studied for a few weeks because winter weather kept interfering, It was great to see her again and to joke with her son by practicing Portuguese by saying things like, “Eu acho que Gabriel quer limpar sua casa hoje,” meaning I think Gabriel wants to clean your house today. We had a good study session and she surprised me with some Brazilian coffee. I love Brazilian coffee.

In the afternoon, I tried to join in listening to a special speaker at church. He was speaking about something I was interested in, but due to fatigue, I kept falling asleep. I sat in the back in case I would need to leave early, so I don’t think anyone noticed. Fatigue is part of living with autoimmune.

I came home feeling a mix of encouraged from seeing my Brazilian student and her son, but also discouraged with myself for not being to stay alert through the whole afternoon to listen to the speaker. I left over an hour early.

Then it happened once again. God let me know he is there. Those moments remind me of Elijah under the broom tree in 1 Kings 19 when Elijah was exhausted and the angel came to him and gave him food and water. God knew what Elijah needed. Later God spoke to Elijah in a quiet voice.

Last night, I was looking through possibilities on Netflix for something to watch. Basically having no energy, I was looking for something to zone out on. Then I saw it. A documentary about Billy Graham. He has always been a spiritual hero of mine. I had the opportunity to meet him in 1991 when I worked part-time at his ministry headquarters as a janitor while a student in Bible College. I clicked on it and watched it. As I watched it, I kept thinking about the people God has called me to love from many countries living in my city.

There was also the conversation I had with one of the women at my church today that kept coming to mind as I watched the documentary. She shared with me about how she has gotten to know a young woman from Vietnam who does her nails. She found out the young woman was my student and had also studied with me at church. Hopefully we can do something together, my friend and her family with our mutual friend from Vietnam and her family.

Yes, it was a week of no energy and barely being able to get out of bed at times. But God renewed my spirit yesterday. After I watched the documentary, I prayed for God to help me carry on with my ministry and for answers to come at my appointment at the Arthritis Center Thursday.

In the meantime, a song by Margeret Becker from many years ago is encouraging me. I Will Not Lay Down. I don’t intend to give up no matter how fatigued I am or how much pain I have. God has called me to the nations here and he will make a way for me.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.