In saw something a doctor said about people who live with chronic pain. He basically said that people who live with chronic pain learn how to not let it show and go about life not letting many people know. He also said that the pain many people with chronic pain live with would cause a person without a chronic illness or condition be flat on the floor.

Perhaps it is a but of an exaggeration, but there is truth in it. People who live with chronic illnesses or conditions can tend to not let on to most people what they are going through. We hear things like- but you don’t look sick. maybe you just have stress, have you tried yoga, the list goes on and on.

My friend Barbara of mylifeinourfathersworld.wordpress.com shared something she found about people living with chronic illness with me:

If you have a friend living with chronic illness, these are some good things to keep in mind.

Some other suggestions I would have are:

Pray for your friend.

Spend an evening with them at their home watching movies.

Help them with cleaning or things they need done.

Chat with them on social media.

I am fortunate that my chronic illnesses do not prevent me from enjoying activities. I am wise in which ones I join in on and yes there are times I leave early because of fatigue.

Also please be careful about offering advice. There probably isn’t much advice your friend hasn’t heard and if it is a clique or ‘common sense’ it probably won’t help.

Just some thoughts if you have a friend living with chronic illness.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

,

46 responses to “Being A Friend to Someone with Chronic Illness”

  1. Well said, my friend. Thanks for being open and honest.

  2. Agree. since my daughter became chronically ill she loss many friends because people truly don’t understand

  3. Truth. I have a well meaning friend who will see some infomercial and then tell me all about it and encourage me to try it. Over and over and over. He is teaching me patience and graciousness. I’ve also heard no end of visiting a major center, finding the right doctor and “not giving up.” Usually from people who have made a idol of our health care system and are threatened by any instance that demonstrates their fallibility.

  4. Thanks for sharing this Matt. It helps me understand better.

  5. This post really opened my eyes to things that I thought I knew but I’m not sure I am conscious of it while dealing with my friends…..its a good list brother….
    I guess when you don’t know what to say/do/react, it’s best to just ‘pray for your friend’ like you mentioned above….🙏🏼🎀💐🧸🐼🎨🧔

    1. Pray and be willing to accept their limitations

      1. 🙏🏼💐🤗🤗🤗❤🎀🧔🧸🐼🤗🤗🤗

      2. Jesus loves you little sister 🤗😇🤗😇🤗😇❤️❤️❤️

      3. Jesus loves you too brother Matt ✝️🧔🤗🙏🏼

  6. mrsmariposa2014 Avatar
    mrsmariposa2014

    Some wise thoughts there, friend. Very relatable. It has taken years, but there are some in my church finally getting why I have to be so selective in what I volunteer for, why I cannot pursue a traditional career anymore, etc., but I still encounter so many who still just don’t understand. I will definitely save this list. 🙂

    1. It helps me to focus on the friends who do get it

  7. mrsmariposa2014 Avatar
    mrsmariposa2014

    Yes, that sounds smart. 🙂

  8. Very good and informative post. Andrew and I can definitely relate to all of the things mentioned in the thing that Barb shared. Unfortunately, we kind of get forgotten a lot by family. People really don’t understand. It can take many years before family members begin to understand, if they ever do. Sometimes people just need to show compassion even if they don’t understand.

    1. It is sad but true the some will never understand. I try to focus on the ones who do

      1. Yes, that’s the best way to handle it. ☺

  9. Thanks for sharing this list big brother. It’s a help to better understand those who are suffering through chronic illnesses. Some of these symptoms I see in my mom.

    1. I am glad you can there for your mom.

  10. Thank you for these gentle and wise insights. Such good reminders to something that is hard for people to understand unless they are experiencing chronic illness themselves.

    1. Thank you 🙏 How are you?

  11. Good tips. I love how practical they are. Often, we all want to help but do not exactly know how.

    1. Wanting to help is good

      1. Yes. Just that sometimes we have to be mindful about ‘what will actually help’ and your post highlights that, which I find wonderful.

  12. Thank you for sharing,
    It has given me a better understanding.

  13. Thank you for sharing this. It is so encouraging to know we aren’t alone!

    1. Yes it is. With Jesus we are never alone, but it nice to know others who understand 👋🤗

  14. Thanks for sharing this, my friend. I do pray for my friend with chronic illness, most times when I’m not feeling well, they inspire me to speak less, especially when what I want to do is complain. I do thank the Lord for their faith and their bravery in the face of contact pain

  15. Thanks for sharing those guidelines and I will definitely keep them in mind.

  16. Thank you for sharing this big bro. Very informative. I believe being there helps a lot too.
    Huggggs bro.

    1. Glad to share. How are you?


      1. I’m good. How are you too?.
        Happy new week big bro. 🤗

  17. thewhitehairedweaver Avatar
    thewhitehairedweaver

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I live with chronic health conditions and physical limitations and they definitely impacts relationships!

    1. Yes it does. I am grateful for having Jesus with me on bad days

      1. thewhitehairedweaver Avatar
        thewhitehairedweaver

        Me, too!

  18. I was wondering how I missed this post & then I remembered that it was the day after surgery & I was still in a fog. Thanks for the mention. I pray a pain-free / flair-free week for you my friend.

    1. Thank you. How are you doing now?

      1. Feeling pretty good. I get tired out easily in the heat but that will improve as I get more protein back in my diet

      2. That’s why I don’t live in the south

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